I've been on the hunt going on three months now and I have had some major ups and downs. There are days where I feel confident after a recruiter call or pumped after attending an inspiring huddle or cool webinar, but that feeling quickly fades and I feel overwhelmed with all the things that I could be doing. The to-do lists are never ending and then I get stuck with analysis paralysis and end up pushing tasks to the next day.
Trying to Fix it Alone
I have learned to make my to-do lists shorter so that I can actually accomplish what I set out to do and feel motivated to continue. One way I have also been experimenting with my schedule is having every minute of the "workday" accounted for. Making my job hunt and learning my full time job has helped tremendously! (when I actually stick to the schedule of course) Even though I had some success with a more fulfilled day and would "turn off" at 5pm, I still felt like I was not producing my best work.
Solution? An accountability buddy!
Accountability Buddy
My idea of an accountability buddy is someone who provides consistent, mutual support and honestly, this was the secret sauce I didn't realize I was missing. I had someone like this when I was training for a half marathon and in the end I was able to achieve my goals and then some! So why not use this same approach for job searching and learning?
But why do accountability buddies even work? After a quick Perplexity search, I found several reasons. The first is external accountability which states that simply telling someone your goals creates a sense of obligation to follow through. The second is commitment consistency, where regular check-ins with a partner reinforce your identity as someone who follows through. The third psychological mechanism is the Hawthorne effect where people perform better when they know they’re being observed.
I'm sure there are more psychological mechanisms supporting it but this is just a high level overview.
Origin Story
Back in August 2025, I attended a virtual DSD meetup and reached out to the speakers to have coffee chats with them. One was with a DevOps Engineer, Poojitha. I'm always excited to meet other women in tech and our coffee chat did not disappoint! It actually turned into an interview of myself to be featured in her weekly blog. Lo and behold, I got laid off three days later, before the blog was published. I reached out to her and she said she would update the blog to reflect some promotion for me and hopefully someone in her network would see. From day one she was always supportive!
We kept in touch ever since and I even got to meet her in person at CYC back in September. Most recently I reached out to her to catch up and that’s when she shared similar concerns as myself and proposed accountability buddies. Best idea ever!
Routine & Community
We have met everyday since (minus holidays) and use a variation of the Pomodoro technique to get working. This structure has motivated me to keep showing up and I’m so grateful for her! So far we have both been consistent and I feel more productive. Not only is this fantastic productivity support, but emotional support as well.
I’ve said it before but I’m a true believer in community. I am a part of several groups online and they are all so welcoming and encouraging. I think the real secret sauce is not just productivity, but connection. In this age of AI, we seem to be losing our humanity and its a small daily ritual such as meeting up with someone that can keep us grounded. I encourage others to find or become an accountability for someone else.
